Advice :Polygamy - Dear sisters! Why do you fear so much this ONE hukm of Allah!

Discussion in 'Marriage' started by Farida Mohammed Iliyas, Jan 9, 2016.

  1. Farida Mohammed Iliyas

    Farida Mohammed Iliyas Moderator Staff Member Moderator Sister (Verified)

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    A man asked Sheikh Ibn Baz during a program in the sahuur of one of the last ten nights of Ramadan (1408 A.H)

    He asked: O sheikh! whenever I tell my wife about my intention to marry a second wife, she normally threatens me that she will pack her load and leave the house. Please, how will you advice me and her?

    Sheikh answered: O female slave of Allah (the wife)! Fear Allah, for the right of marriage lies with the husband, and it is not for a wife to prevent her husband from taking a second, third or fourth wife.

    It is Allah who has ordained this law from above the seven heavens, and He knows what is good for men and women. He has permitted mathna for many benefits, and some of these benefits go to the first wife herself. The husband could be a miser before, but Allah will make him generous to the first wife after the mathna due to the fact that he must be just to' the two wives (by spending equally on them). Furthermore, Allah could reward you due to your contentment with the mathna (law of Allah) or even provide the second wife with kids that will be your only source of help in the future. Or maybe your husband dislikes some attitudes in you, and when he takes another wife, he finds out that you are even far better than the new wife, then he may cherish you more.

    The most serious part is that, there is a grave danger in you preventing your husband from mathna because Allah can void your deeds, as you have disliked part of what Allah revealed in Quran (Suratul Nisa: 3). And Allah said: “That is because they disliked what Allah revealed, therefore, He nullified their deeds” (Suratul Muhammad:9). And negating only a verse of the Quran is sufficient to nullify one’s good deeds.
     
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  2. Irfan Ullah Khan

    Irfan Ullah Khan CEO & Co-Founder Staff Member Inner Circle Member Brother (Verified)

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    Masha Allah, what a great advice on Polygyny!!!

    :vista03:
     
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  3. M. Thiam

    M. Thiam New Member

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    Assalamu Alaykum,

    Polygyny is a beautiful lifestyle and has many benefit. I love it!
     
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  4. SarahAlyafai81

    SarahAlyafai81 Member

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    I'm sorry but I'm a second wife and when I married my husband I knew he was married and had children but they are living in Yemen and I am in the states with my husband, now he wants to bring her and his children here and I cannot approve. I am a muslimah but I am a convert American muslimah, and it is very hard for me to accept this new lifestyle. The fact is as I've already told my husband the day that I find out they are here is the day that I packed my bags with my son and I leave I am too jealous over my husband he is my true love he is my soulmate and he is my best friend and I am willing to walk away from all of that. I have asked Allah so many times to take these feelings out of my heart, Because deep down inside of me I don't want to lose anything, but in 5 years we've been married the feeling does not subside. I just could not think of the thought of seeing my husband with another woman loving her hugging her kissing her and sharing romantic intimate feelings with any other woman. I can't stand the thought that I'll have to sleep without my husband a few days a week I just I can't do it so I'd rather save my sanity my mental health and my heart by leaving I don't know how so many women can deal with it.
     
  5. SarahAlyafai81

    SarahAlyafai81 Member

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    NO. It's not. It's heartbreaking lifestyle.
     
  6. Umm Saabir

    Umm Saabir New Member

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    Assalamu alaikum,

    But sister, it is a Sunnah. We are not meant to pick and choose which bits of Islam we like and discard those we don't. Please try to understand the wisdom behind polygamy. It may not be exactly what you wanted but it brings great benefits to a wider society, for example it brings marriage to all the sisters who could not otherwise find a husband. We must all try and be grateful for what Allah swt has given us and understand that He has a great plan for each and every one of us.
     
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  1. Umm Saabir